March 7, 2010
[Commentary] Winning doesn’t always dictate success
Let me start by saying I'm a little more competitive than most.
If I'm driving on the road and pass you - I don't know where you're going, but as long as I get ahead of you - I win.
Maybe there's some sort of psychological disorder that needs to be addressed here, but I really don't like to lose.
When I was younger, I played many sports: baseball, lacrosse, football, basketball (I fouled out a lot) and, of course, hockey.
I don't have a clue as to how we finished in the standings, or how many games we actually won. I do, however, remember a few times when I was instrumental in winning a particular game, but in the grand scheme, I remember my teammates, the fun we had, and especially my coaches.
When I retired from professional hockey and entered youth sports full time, I adopted two goals as a coach: 1) WIN 2) Ensure the kids are learning life lessons to become better people.
But I'll never sacrifice goal No. 2 to achieve goal No. 1. For example, if we're down by a goal in a close game and I shorten the bench (after all, it's travel hockey and ice is earned), I look to the players who've shown me they deserve to be out there.
And, many times, I'm certain parents in the stands are asking, "Why is he putting that player out there? My child should be on the ice!"
Like death and taxes, the criticism of coaches is inevitable. There are a lot of adults in the arena who won't agree with many of the decisions a coach makes, and, more times than necessary, they'll share these opinions with others around them.
A very close friend of mine recently sent me an e-mail that read, "Everyone wants to be coach, but only a few have the courage to take on such a challenge."
Although coaches are supposed to be teachers, role models, friends, disciplinarians, psychologists, communicators, organizers, strategists, etc., they're still human, and we tend to lose sight of that fact.
When you look around the dressing room and see all of the kids strapping on their gear, you realize hockey is the one common thread that brings them all together.
A team consists of players from all walks of life: different upbringings, economic statuses, separate schools and even different genders. The coach is responsible for bringing them all together to perform as one on the ice, which is an incredibly arduous task.
And then throw others' opinions into the mix, like, "He's too soft; he's too harsh. He's not working enough on plays; he isn't focusing on skill development. He plays that kid too much; he doesn't play my kid enough. He creates double standards; you can't treat every player the same."
These concerns, to name a few, are what coaches have to balance on a daily basis. And, in the end, too many people focus solely on whether the team won or lost.
With that said, a big THANK YOU goes out to all youth sports coaches!
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